Here's to the Sunny Slopes of Long Ago: My Baby is Two

I was tired when Leah was born. Really tired! It was the end of the hottest summer on record. (Check the history books kids, I’m not making it up!) I was carrying around 55 extra pounds, and chasing a non-napping 2-year old around nonstop. I had pregnancy insomnia, on top of Eliana waking up 3 –4 times a night. The day Leah was born I started having contractions in the morning while at a gym class at Romp-N-Roll with Eliana. The rest of the 94 degree day consisted of taking Eliana to the playground, and then to the library, going out for pizza dinner (which I could not eat), and going to the OBGYN. After my doctor confirmed that a birth was imminent, we went home so that Pete could put Eliana to sleep (never an easy task) before we could finally go to the hospital. I was praying Leah wouldn't be born in the living room

Once at the hospital the contractions were scream-worthy intense, and I began begging and pleading for an epidural. I was devastated when the epidural brought no relief, and asked the nurse, “Why am I still in so much pain? When my first daughter was born the pain went away after the epidural?” She was so mean to me! She told me to toughen up, and that that this was my first lesson not to compare my children! Although painful, Leah's birth was quick. But, it was followed by a grueling hour of three doctors fishing around for lost placenta. I’ll spare you the details. But seriously, when she was born, I was really tired.

When Eliana was born (not that I’m comparing my children!), I was committed to attachment parenting. I was going to sleep all night with her by my side – not in the hospital nursery. I am almost ashamed to say it, but when Leah was born, I was looking forward to having her sleep in the hospital nursery. I was (and still am) in favor of attachment parenting, but with more limits this time, please. Eliana refused the bottle, and only wanted the breast – not this time! Eliana rejected the binky, and preferred to receive all her comfort from her Mama – not this time! Eliana’s favorite sleep position was on top of me, and she slept in 20 minute increments when she was not on top of me – not this time! As much as I loved my Eliana with my whole heart, I was trying to think practically about managing life with two daughters. I kissed my beautiful sleeping Leah, asked the nurse to bring her back when she was ready to feed, and sent her off to the hospital nursery.

A few hours later the nurse woke me out of an unsettled sleep. She said, “I think your little one needs some kangaroo-care.” Leah’s body temperature kept dropping too low. They put her under the heat lamps to bring it up, but as soon as she was taken off the heat it dropped low again. As I already knew, the best person to help the baby regulate her temperature is the Mama. Skin-to-skin full body contact, known as kangaroo-care. I quickly nuzzled little Leah onto my chest and held her close. I felt so guilty! How could I have sent her off to the cold, cruel hospital nursery in a little plastic bassinet! Her cold skin quickly warmed up, and soon we were both sleeping peacefully.

Leah’s favorite sleep position is still curled up next to me, or on top of me, skin-to-skin. And to be perfectly honest, that is how I now sleep the best too. Leah has just turned two years old, and I realize that the time will come soon that she will be ready to sleep through the night in her own bed. I look forward to that day, and I also plan to treasure the rest of the nights that Leah curls up next to me. After the nurse told me that Leah needed kangaroo-care, I resolved that this little one would not miss out on any of the nurture and loving that she deserved, just because I was tired. The first few months of her life were especially difficult, but my efforts were so rewarded because Leah was pure love. When I snuggled her, she snuggled me right back. When I carried her, she held on to me with both arms. When she nursed, she patted my arm with her little hand. Even as a newborn, she reciprocated my love with such genuine affection and appreciation. All babies are gifts from God, but I felt that God had given me a special gift in making Leah so exceedingly loving.

My baby is now two-years-old. She is growing and developing beautifully. She is more independent every day. She tests boundaries. She has a sense of humor. She is rebellious. And she still has a special sweetness, that is just part of who she is. She loves to snuggle, she gives hugs that last for a half hour, she kisses and nuzzles and cuddles and loves. Leah is happy to tell you that she is now "Two!" but she is also so happy to drink her "baba," snuggled up on my lap. And I will continue to savor these moments of sweetness, while she is still so happy to be my baby.